We’ve Given Birth To A Total Ham

Having just hit the 6 month mark, Frankie is becoming ever more the character. Numerous people have commented that she’s ‘the happiest baby they’ve ever seen’, which I can’t exactly vouch for as my experience with babies is limited, but compared to some stories I’ve heard from other parents, it’s safe to say we’ve lucked out. Or maybe we’re just totally rad parents to the max.

Her face wears a permanent cheeky grin. Like a beaming lighthouse beckoning for attention from every angle. Onlookers drawn like moths to a flickering flame of inescapable cuteness. If the world ran on smiles, she’d be the next target for an American invasion.

Recently, my wife took the Frankfurter to Perth for a wedding. Yes, she went flying with a baby. Again. What a jetsetter that kid is. I haven’t even been to Perth, and I’m 31. My wife was a bridesmaid, so on the night of the wedding a babysitter was organised to accompany her. Frankie was so comfortable with the babysitter that the wedding photographer took a ‘family’ photo of the two of them together, unbeknownst to her.

Though, what is perhaps more interesting then her upbeat and infectious demeanour, is her vocalisation. If you’ve been following the blog, you’ll know all about the ear piercing shrieks and screeches so otherworldly that they shocked the scream-laden ears of the maternity ward nurses. A feat comparable to M. Night Shyamalan being caught unaware by a plot twist revealing that the protagonist was actually a hermit crab the whole time.

As she’s developed, Frankie’s voice box has delivered a new, and thankfully more appealing, batch of surprises. At my wife’s mothers’ group, Frankie is known as ‘El Ruidoso‘, or ‘the noisy one’. Actually, they don’t really call her El Ruidoso, I’ve just always thought that nicknames sounded way cooler in Spanish. The sounds that come out of this kid are unlike any other from another baby. High pitched shrieks, growls, grunts, machine gun effects, la-la-laing, many I struggle to even describe. It’s an impressive repertoire for someone who only recently discovered that they have feet.

And she’s not afraid to put them on display.

Last weekend, we went to Pho Hung Vong in Footscray. It’s one of the those ‘get in and get out’ places, where you sit down, shut up and eat and don’t ever fuck with the menu. And for good reason. It’s kind of like a Vietnamese incarnation of the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. Frankie decided that despite the drone of conversation, the hustle and bustle of waiting staff and enthusiastic yelling from the kitchen, she was to be the center of attention. Proceeding to then spend the entire time banging on the table, while growling, shrieking and singing at the top of her lungs. I was afraid it might annoy people at first, but everyone found it hilarious, including the restaurant staff. It was almost a 6 month old’s version of the below.

Frankie’s rare talents were recently confirmed by the doctor administering her latest round of vaccinations, commenting that she had a ‘very talented tongue’. Apparently, the shapes and movements she made with it were ‘well advanced’.  She asked if Frankie ‘made any strange noises?’, which was swiftly put to bed by Frankie herself only moments later.

What does any of this mean? Well, it could be that my lifelong dream of raising the greatest beatboxer the world has ever seen is within my grasp. Or, she could end up being an amateur yodeller. The fine line between dreams and nightmares is but paper thin.

As each layer unfolds, kind of like…an onion, I guess, the mystery that is our Frankenstein is revealed.

What about your baby or child? Do they have any out of the ordinary habits or skills?


9 thoughts on “We’ve Given Birth To A Total Ham

  1. Our daughter is also very outgoing and loves to give strangers smiles. In fact, if more than about three people pass her without saying hello, she becomes concerned (or perhaps insulted is the better word?) and starts to get upset. She is also a very easy baby overall. I’ve had to bring her with me to class at my University many times due to an unforeseen conflict in class schedules, and when I don’t have to bring her my teachers have asked where she is and why she is not in class.

    Her go-to sound when she is upset has changed from screaming to an adorable wookie impression which is just fine with me because I’ve also received comments on how loud she can be.

    The biggest difference that I can see from this post is that Liliana struggles more with separation anxiety. She loves everyone as long and one of her parents are right next to her, but as soon as we hand her to someone, she suddenly becomes a lot pickier.

    Of course, at Liliana’s sixth month checkup, the doctor said nothing about her vocal skills. However, he did say that she had my “striking” and “photogenic” eyebrows.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You can never get sick of a good wookie impression.

      Frankie has a little bit of separation anxiety, but is often happy to hang out on her own for at least a little while.

      That’s funny about eyebrows. My eyebrows, from my Dad’s side of the family, are notorious. We’re waiting to see whether Frankie has been bestowed with them!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m tipping she’s the next Celine Dion. She has the Canadian heritage and all. I’ll let you decide whether that’s a dream or nightmare.


  3. My 6 month old babe alternates between a high pitched trill and opening her mouth wide and letting loose a deep, raspy growl from the back of her throat. Our 4 year old is constantly crying that baby sister is growling at her.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, I also meant to note that Frankie is unbearably adorable! Our 4 year old has always had a similar personality – she is a total show off and always has been. I always had people remarking (and still do) that she has more personality than any baby ever. And she is still a performer. She puts on shows and our house backs a pretty heavily used bike trail, which means she is out on our trampoline bouncing and asking passing cyclists and runners: “What’s your name? How old are you? HEY I’M TALKING TO YOU! WHAT’S YOUR NAME? THIS IS MY HOUSE! DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY BIKES?” I’m pretty sure she’s never met anyone she didn’t love. Our 6 month old is quite the opposite so far. She’ll smile for people but she’s only truly happy as long as she’s got Mom.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, she does have some pretty good genes to draw from 😉

      Frankie is comfortable with anyone and everyone thus far.

      I’ve pretty much made a career out of being a smart arse, so I’m sure I’ll have plenty of that coming back at me from Frankie as she grows up.


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